It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
