Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
