So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Even my vagina gasped.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize