Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
