im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize