the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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