her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
