Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
