Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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