I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
