Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize