Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
