And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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