so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
