Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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