why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
