I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
