how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
