So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
