Where did you get a picture of my penis
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
