There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
