Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
