peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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