i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Randomize
