Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
