It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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