all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
