It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
