If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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