you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Less talking, more tequila
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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