Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
