I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
