So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm both gender and math confused
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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