He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
