I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
