His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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