Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
