I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
