why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
home. puking in laundry basket.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
