I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
