Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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