I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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