yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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