god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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