After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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