he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
