Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
