I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
