If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
handjob tips. give me some.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
