it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
