PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
