i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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