I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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