they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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