She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
