so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
