Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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