I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
