I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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