Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
