Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize