everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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