I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
NoShamevember. You game?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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