Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
