You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
