walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
