do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
