Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
