: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
