these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
