Even the bartender felt bad for me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
