apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
