Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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