So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
